Today is amazing day for me. My CD4 counts increase to 640 and viral loads almost to 25. My husband wants a baby and that is my biggest fear knowing that I might not be able to give him what he wants without a worries of infecting him. However being a Muslim and have a way of life that Islam thought me.Let me share with you few surah in holy Quran " 2:284 For God belongs the skies and whatever there is in the earth – and if you express whatever within your own self or hide it - God makes you accountable with it – thus He forgives to whomever He will – and He punishes whoever He wills – and God is over every single thing - in full control" so I believe my live absolutely He knows better than I am and what best for me and my family. Sometimes in life I just leave it to God and the rest I believe it is up to me to work out harder, believe can make many "magical" things. Not that I never had any magical experience. There is this surah in the Quran " 2:257 God is the protector of those who believe – He takes them out from injustice to the light. And those who disbelieve - their protectors are the virtual idols - they will take them out - from the light to injustices. They are the residence of the Fire – and they will abide in it forever. Therefore here I am looking up to HIM and asking for assistance for HIM who knows better than I am.